“You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete,” Lopez told comedian Nikki Glaser, adding:
“You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’”
Lopez never mentioned Affleck by name in the sit-down.
But she makes a few clear references to the divorce while focusing on her own self-healing and self-confidence.
“I think my whole life I’ve just been trying to say I’m good enough, until where I am now, when I know. I’m giving myself credit,” the singer continued.
“I’m telling that little girl that grew up in the Bronx, ‘You’ve done really good for yourself.’ I didn’t do that for so many years.
“And now I think, with everything that’s happened in my life and in my relationships and even in my career, it’s like, give yourself a bit of comfort and love.
“We’ve been through a lot of things that nobody knows about, and you’ve persevered and you refuse to give up and to let it get you down.”
Indeed, Lopez has now been divorced three times.
She and Affleck appear to be on great terms, however.
“There’s something to be said for that because things can really change your life in a way that you do want to give up and say, “F—-ck this, this is too hard, I don’t want to do this anymore,’” Lopez went on. “But I’m not there. I refuse to not give myself everything that little girl deserves.”
Amen, J. Lo!
Prior to this interview, Lopez has scarcely addressed her most recent break-up, only sharing the occasional social media post.
Lopez noted that being a mother of 16-year-old twins Max and Emme — whom she shares with her ex-husband Marc Anthony — and recent projects such as the film Unstoppable have helped her come to terms with personal heartbreak.
“With This Is Me … Now and the project you mentioned earlier, I felt like, whoa, I got here. I’m good,” she said. “I did all the work and look where I am, and then it was like my whole f-cking world exploded.”
Lopez filed for divorce from Affleck on August 20 after two years of marriage. She listed the pair’s date of separation as April 26 and cited irreconcilable differences as the basis for the divorce.
“Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself,” continued Lopez, who says she has no regrets about marrying Affleck.
The superstar isn’t in the market for a new partner right now — and concluded with this message:
“I know that everything that’s being written and said about me, and all the conjecture of who I am as a person, is not who I am. I learned that a long time ago.
I know I’m a good person. I know I’m a good mom. I know who my friends are. I know my friends know who I am, my mom, my dad, all that stuff.